I really hope your girlfriend realizes she’s dating a pathetic waste of a human being and finds someone infinitely better.
A lot of lesbians are turned off by the idea of their gf having sex with men. Why is that such a bad thing? Why is it so wrong to only like women who like other women? I think the anon who asked this should be honest with her gf and break up with her though if it’s that much of a turn off.
At first I wasn’t going to reply to comments like these but now that I’ve had a couple of beers the idea of repeatedly hitting my head against a brick wall seems more enjoyable so here we go.
I have a problem with lesbians who claim that they have a “preference” towards dating other lesbians over bisexuals. I understand having a preference, I personally have a preference for girls who are my height or taller than me. However, does this preference make me view my own voice, safety, and representation in my community as superior and of more importance than those I do not have a preference for? Nope. That’s why this anon (and unfortunately other like minded individuals) don’t have a “preference” they are biphobic and overall prejudicial assholes.
If you’re not comfortable dating bisexual people because you feel they will ultimately leave you for the opposite sex or (insert other stereotypical view of bisexuals) you don’t have a preference, you are biphobic, and have some huge insecurities that you should probably deal with before you enter a relationship.
If you’re a lesbian and do not feel comfortable dating a woman who is also attracted to individuals with dicks because you find it “icky” or “gross”, it must blow your mind when you find out your partner likes watermelon and you don’t. How do you even move forward from there? Is the relationship just doomed? And yes it is the same thing. Those individuals are judging someone based on something they cannot control.
Prejudice and phobia inside the queer community is something I will never understand and is absolutely infuriating.
Prejudice and phobia in any community makes no sense.
This is really upsetting and I’ll tell you why.
A lot of this is about respect. If you have a partner whose sexuality you can’t respect or, at bare minimum, even accept, you should not be with that person. I understand that some people don’t like penetration or aren’t attracted to people with penises, but if you truly respected your partner, you would be comfortable with them regardless of their sexual history and orientation. Their preferences have nothing to do with you (outside of the fact that you’re both attracted to women), and what matters is that they care about and are with you now.
Anonymous, you need to sit down and do some soul searching. You need to consider what about simply knowing this about your partner feels so wrong to you, and why. Think about it practically: Are you concerned your partner will leave you for someone else? Does knowing this make you feel your partner is somehow dirty or tainted? Do you think it means your partner will never fully commit to you? Why is your partner’s orientation and sexual history so important and upsetting to you? Consider the assumptions you’re making about bisexuality and those who are bisexual.
You also need to have a talk with your partner. You need to tell them how you feel and why you think you feel that way. Then you and your partner need to decide if you can continue your relationship. You should not be with someone you can’t accept, and your partner should not have to be with someone who really feels that way (nor should they be kept in the dark about this!).
This is biphobia at its most basic. I understand you have your own preferences, but you have no right to negatively judge someone for theirs, especially someone you’ve entered a relationship with.
This thought process also raises a bunch of other questions: What about trans or non-binary people? People with penises who are not straight or cisgendered? Would you feel the same if your partner had been with a transgender woman who had a penis? (Because that’d also be transphobic.) And what about sex play using toys or fingers? Obviously lots of people don’t enjoy penetration, but would it be better or different if your partner had only been penetrated by toys? Why?
Anonymous, you need to come clean to your partner and seriously rethink your feelings towards bisexuality.
Yo if a dude was all, I won’t fuck that girl cause she once fucked somebody I think is gross, we’d call that shit misogyny.
The idea that a penis can somehow dramatically corrupt or alter the body of a woman is straight up goddamn patriarchy-lovin misogyny, if you add in “but it’s about bisexuality” then fine you’re also biphobic, way to multitask your policing of female sexuality, very talented work
^^^^^ THIS. THANK YOU.
Lesbian biphobia has so many shades of virginity fetishization and slut-shaming. “Now that you, fair woman, have been RAVISHED by a MAN, you are icky and impure and gross.” And it also somehow makes male/female sex seem more important than female/female sex? “If she’s only been with women, she’ll be content to stay with women; but if she’s been with a man, she’ll always be tempted to dump her girlfriend and stray back to men.”
It manages to be misandric (men are so evil they taint everything they touch), patriarchal (men are so powerful they permanently alter everything they touch) AND misogynistic (women are polluted by the sex they have) ALL AT ONCE.
That takes talent. The bad kind.
I’m just gonna reiterate the fact that Anon isn’t just disgusting for all of the above reasons but also clearly genders penises, so they’re transmisogynistic as well and it’s really important that doesn’t get lost in the labyrinthine fortress of bigotry they’ve erected around themself, wow.
harry and hermione’s relationship is so important because it shows that two characters can love each other deeply but not in a romantic way and there are not enough boy/girl unconditional, innocent friendships like that in books and that is why i am refusing to accept that J.K. wanted them together
This! Though it’s important to note that all of that was blown out of proportion. She really just said they would have maybe been a healthier couple purely on paper.
(Left to Right): Peter Buffett, Jimmie Briggs, Joe Ehrmann, Tony Porter,
Dave Zirin and Moderator Eve Ensler.
Flat color commission of Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, for someone who wanted to be anonymous.
They commissioned it to have Anthony Mackie and Seb Stan sign!
and depending on the hour the waves
are rolling in or moving out,
and I say, oh, I am miserable,
what should I do? And the sea says
in its lovely voice:
Excuse me, I have work to do.
|—||Mary Oliver, from the book A Thousand Mornings (via fishingboatproceeds)|
we praise men for the most trivial shit like “omg he buys you pads and chocolate!!!! hubby material!!!”
Also this sort of attitude makes it seem like doing this sort of thing is a plus but not needed. It teaches girls that they’re lucky to be treated well by men, rather than teaching them that they deserve it.
Girls face so many challenges and people are constantly telling them they can’t do things, they can’t be funny, they can’t run the companies. My advice is just not to focus on anyone telling you that you can’t do anything or the politics of your situation. Just think about your art, or that thing you want to do.
It’s this idea of “Hey, dudes are dudes.”
|—||Barry Schwartz, The Paradox of Choice (2004)|